The Celiac Conundrum - Chapter One

So, in the past couple of weeks, the person for whom I enjoy cooking the most got the diagnosis - she officially has celiac disease.  That means no more food with anything related to gluten (wheat protein) in it.  The first time I came across someone with this condition, it was at a pizza buffet - where this poor kid stood with his mom, peering closely at each of the pizzas and side dishes, in earnest conversation about whether or not he could eat this, or this, or this. At the time, I thought it was like a death sentence - I couldn't imagine how you could go through life having to be on high alert before every bite.  Talk about robbing the joy of eating, the ecstasy of tasting, the abandonment of sheer gustatory pleasure.

Apparently, there are a lot of people who suffer from this condition - a lot more now than even 30 or 40 years ago.  I now have five relatives who are celiac, all diagnosed over the past 10 years.  I've quietly watched them pick substitutes, talk to waiters, read the labels on everything while shopping.  What's been most heartbreaking, from a food lover's perspective, is to see the pathetic attempts by small and lonely producers to develop gluten-free alternatives that, if you really squeeze your eyes tight and imagine as hard as you can, kinda, sorta, maybe taste like the "real thing".  Want the truth?  Most of the time, not even close.  And the bewildering instructions on how to make those things, which include fractions of gluten-free flour, an array of exotic gums (xanthan and guar chief among them), wonky baking times, and having to store almost all this stuff in the freezer at all times except when you're ready to eat it puts a depressing blanket over even trying to make something tasty.

But lately, the big producers have begun to notice that there is an expanding market of people who, being required to eat this way, are willing to pay for things that taste good on their own merits - not just as pale copies of what they're trying to copy.  Specialty Gluten Free (or "GF") stores have sprung up, giving dedicated, individual experimenters a place where they can sell their taste breakthroughs to an appreciative and relieved celiac community.  Even the big chain stores are starting to carry not only GF prepared foods, but also ingredients that you can pick up to make your own meals.

Now we're talking!  Here's a chance to get back to the joy of eating, even though you are celiac!  So - while I am not celiac myself, I love nothing more than watching people enjoy good food (except enjoying it myself, that is).  Life really is too short to eat bad food - and that goes for making bad food as well.  I'm going to accept the challenge of making homemade GF taste great.  The blunt and honest critics living in my house will be the judges - and judge they will, for which I am deeply appreciative.  For the ones that pass the test, I shall post the recipes here - maybe they can help someone else looking to turn food from enemy to friend again.

Here's the first one - Five-Cheese Meat Lasagne

Ingredients:

1.5 lbs. lean ground beef
2 tbsp. extra virgin olive oil
1 small onion, chopped
3 large cloves of garlic, crushed
1 tbsp seasoning salt (Hy's is GF)
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp allspice
1 tbsp poultry seasoning
1/2 cup Port, Madeira, or other dessert wine
1 tsp fresh ground pepper
1 lb. fresh white mushrooms
2 cups cottage cheese
2 cups freshly grated Parmesan or Grana Padano or Asiago cheese
2 jars Catelli Four-Cheese Pasta Sauce (any four-cheese pasta sauce will do)
2 eggs
1 box Rizopia Brown Rice Lasagne Noodles
4 cups grated cheese (Mozzarella, Colby, Marble, Cheddar, Monterey Jack - whatever you like best)

Preparation:

• In a large, heavy saucepan over medium-high heat, heat olive oil till it starts to quiver - not till it smokes - and add onions and garlic.  Stir-fry until just soft, then add ground beef.  Season with paprika, seasoning salt, poultry seasoning, fresh ground pepper and allspice.  Stir-fry the meat just until the pink is gone.  Add Port (or other wine).  Add two jars of pasta sauce.  Turn heat down to medium-low, and let the mixture boil gently, stirring occasionally.
• In another bowl, beat two eggs, and blend in the cottage cheese.  Season with pepper and salt, and blend in one cup of Parmesan (or Grana Padano or Asiago) cheese.
• Slice fresh mushrooms into 1/8-inch slices.
• Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
• In a 9 x 13 lasagne pan, scoop in enough meat sauce to cover the bottom to about 1/4-inch deep.  Don't skimp.
• Lay in the first layer of uncooked Rizopia Brown Rice lasagne noodles, leaving about half an inch of space between the side of the pan and the noodles, and between the noodles themselves.  You'll fit three in lengthwise, and one crosswise (breaking the crosswise one to the right length).  NOTE:  Rizopia brand, available in Canada, makes outstanding rice pasta for lasagne - they have a great al dente bite to them, with none of that unfortunate, gummy, sloppy mess that too many GF pastas have.
• On top of the noodles, spoon all the cottage cheese/egg/grated cheese mixture.  Cover everything - not just the noodles.  
• Lay in all the fresh mushroom slices on top of the cottage cheese mixture.
• Spoon in another layer of meat sauce, to cover.
• Lay in your second layer of lasagne noodles.  Cover them completely with meat sauce.
• At this point, depending on how deep your lasagne baking pan is, you might have to stop, and put the cheese on.  If you have a deep pan, go ahead and put in a last row of noodles, and cover with sauce.  N.B. - it is vital that you thoroughly cover the noodles with sauce - it's the liquid that cooks the noodles to an edible state, so don't leave them to bake out in the open.  If your pan is shallower, you will have sauce left over.  Save it to eat on something else.
• The crowning layer is the cheese.  Put it on thickly - your grated mozza, followed by the rest of the Parmesan.
• Cover the pan with tin foil.  Bake in the oven for 30-35 minutes, then remove the foil, and bake for an additional 15 minutes, until bubbling.  For the last minute or two, turn on the broiler and brown the cheese on top.  Careful not to burn it.
• Let stand for 10 minutes before cutting and serving.  This should comfortably serve six to eight people, especially with a nice salad.

Try it, and let me know what you think....